Wieners for Breakfast
I’m opening up today and sharing, as part of a sponsored post for #CollectiveBias and inspired by NickMom, about my lack of snack preparation skills. #MotherFunny All stories and opinions are my own. Yeah, I’m really this bad.
This morning I handed some clothes to my big boy, 5 year old, Kindergartener and told him to get himself dressed like a big boy. His response: “but I’m still little…”. Oh really, because every other time that I tell him that he’s too little for something, he is usually a “big boy” or even a “man”. I guess sometimes even big boys need their mommies.
So, speaking of my big boy, I have no idea how this kid grew to be the size that he is living in my household. He never eats, yet he’s always crying about being hungry. I mean, seriously, this kid eats before he goes to sleep and immediately wants food when he wakes up. He eats after school and then again at dinner and again before bed. But he never really eats! He just snacks and “grazes” the food we have available.
With a boy who snacks so much, you would think I would be good at snacks by now. I mean, it has been almost 6 years of feeding this human being and you know, I’ve been eating for a few years myself, but nope, I can’t pull off a fun and healthy snack to save my life (or his in the long run).
What does MY snack offering say about me?
First of all, I don’t fit any of the above examples because I don’t know what Quinoa is, I don’t bake cupcakes, I’m allergic to celery, my boy won’t eat anything gummy or fruit (except he did just discover apples), and what in the WORLD is a Bento Box?!
Here are the snack options in my house:
Last night’s leftovers – These are not your typical Mommy-cooked dinner leftovers. These are the Mommy-Son date (aka Daddy was at work and Mommy didn’t want to cook) leftovers. You know, the half eaten grilled cheese and soggy, cold french fries. He eats them or gives them to the dogs and doesn’t complain. But…that might be why he’s still hungry afterwards and the dogs are always excited to see a leftovers box from a restaurant.
Yesterday’s cereal – Okay, since my son doesn’t eat much at a time I have figured out a really easy trick for the morning. He wakes up on Monday morning asking for cereal. He doesn’t like milk in it so I make a large bowl of dry cereal for him to nibble on. If I play my cards right, this bowl will last all week long. Stale? Who knows…he still eats it!
Wieners – He likes them cold and he likes them any time of day. In fact, he started asking (I think he was 3) for wieners for breakfast and we were used to buying those $1 packages so at least we had the sense to upgrade to the Jennie-O turkey dogs. There is not a week that goes by that he doesn’t ask for a cold wiener for breakfast at least once. Hey, don’t judge. I tend to think that a turkey dog is probably better for him than the marshmallows picked out of the Lucky Charms, don’t you?
Papa’s Leftovers – This is a new one for us and it might not last long. You see, every week we go to my dad’s (Papa) house for dinner on Sunday. Two weeks ago everyone was telling Dad that we have been dreaming about his “big breakfast” that he makes from time to time when the whole family is in town. I guess he took the hint and this past weekend he made the big breakfast for dinner.
You have to understand that my dad grew up in a family with five children and only one working parent. He told us this week about how his mom used to give him a pork chop with a string attached and after he would take a couple of bites she would pull the string and give it to the next kid. You see, the man now will cook a meal for an army…every.single.week. There are always leftovers. Sometimes we take some, sometimes my sister will take some, but this week my boy claimed the pancakes (all 15 left after we ate) as his own to take home.
This week my boy is getting the good snacks…yeah!
Now, you may be wondering why I’ve gone all rogue here on the blog and I’m not talking about my healthy meals for weight loss or a quick and easy meal for the family, or even something completely indulgent like cake pops. I’m here to reveal to the world (ha, like the “world” reads this blog, ha!) that I am not THAT mom.
I’ve discovered the #MotherFunny of NickMom
I’m actually quite hilarious at times, more so online, but also in real life. I keep my husband laughing all the time with my antics. Because I’ve learned to laugh at life and my husband is a goof-nut as well, then our boy has become quite the little character. I mean, do you remember when we had to teach him that “chicken” was a bad word? Geez!
So, I know if you’ve read this far that you must not be THAT mom either (or you’re reading this like a train wreck and can’t look away because you’re so horrified that I don’t cook and I give my kid wieners for breakfast and you’re wondering what I’m going to write next) so I know you will love NickMom.com and their hilarious content. Go ahead, just head on over there and I dare you not to LOL at least once.
Follow along on Facebook and Twitter while you’re at it!
P.S. I rarely LOL and usually just or “giggle” or “haha!” but NickMom totally made me LOL in my cubicle and now my neighbors think I’m some kind of lunatic who LOLs to herself. I might be, but they don’t need to know that!
Can someone please tell me what a Bento Box is and why my kid would want it? K, thanks!
I am linking up with Pour Your Heart Out on Things I Can’t Say.