My own double standard and jumping to conclusions
I was thinking today about my post last night, I wrote that if I had the money, I would help my husband jump into opening a restaurant, but why did I put that qualifier on his dream? Yet, when I'm asked "do you have to look before you leap?" my first thought goes to my own desires and how I just jump into new projects without regard to whether my husband thinks it is a good idea. Of course, I must say first that my husband is always supportive of me starting anything I want to start so that helps…but why am I not the same with him?
I think I'm rambling a little, let me explain…
Last April, Hubby and I started watching Extreme Couponing on TLC and I was almost instantly addicted. I told him that I wanted to try this couponing thing and he was all for it. I started looking online and discovered blogs that told you exactly how to save with coupons…and so many other ways to save. Before that time, I didn't even "really" know about blogs in the sense of a business. I had a small blog in 2007, but I thought they were just for updating your family and friends about your life. I had a friend who was a member of a group of mom bloggers, but I thought they were just supportive of each other and that was as far as it went.
The more I read the coupon blogs, the more I learned about couponing, but even more so, about blogging in general. I branched out into reading other blogs and by June, I wanted my own blog. Again, Hubby was supportive and thought it was a great idea. We didn't even know at that time that people were getting paid. I just thought it would be fun!!
I decided I was going to take the leap and took a week off from work so I could start the blog. On August 2, 2011, I started my blog and have been completely addicted to it ever since. In the past ten months, Hubby has been frustrated from time to time, but for the most part he is supportive. He loves that I am doing something that I love and, of course, that I am making some extra money for the family.
Now, for the other side…
When I met my husband, he was an unemployed chef and had found a job as a line cook. He struggled from one job to another and eventually was unemployed again just after we found out we were pregnant and as we were planning our wedding. We decided to move to my small hometown and he found a sous chef position at a country club. He worked there through the Holidays, but after that time, they decided they didn't need him anymore. We were "stuck" in a small town where a chef (with twenty years experience) did not have many opportunities. He struggled and it was difficult for him to take a LARGE pay cut and start working in a meat market at a grocery store. He did it because our family needed it. He loves it. He's now the Assistant Market Manager (Butcher) at the store…but he still has his dreams. He wants to own his own restaurant.
Earlier this year, Hubby told me that he wanted to look at the possibility of opening a restaurant. He did some research and found a location. He started talking with a representative from the Small Business Administration. We met with the guy a few times. I am not proud of this, but I was not as "full steam ahead" supportive as he has always been with my ideas. My head right now is yelling "but this is a much bigger financial investment and we have no money" but my heart is saying "so what, it is HIS DREAM".
He hasn't been talking much about it lately and maybe he came to the same conclusions as I did or maybe he saw my hesitance and just backed down. I honestly don't know what he is thinking now. I wish I was as supportive whole-heartedly as he is, but I'm not. Am I wrong or am I seeing things differently? Are these two instances just so far different that they can't be compared? I don't know. I'm just writing it down to get it all out and see what you all think as well.
Do I need to look before I leap? Not really!!
Do I think my husband should look before he leaps? Unfortunately, yes!!
What about you? Do you look before you leap? Do you hold your family members (your significant other) to that same standard?