Where Do You Find Your Joy and Laughter and Energy and Happiness in General? #depressionsucks

This morning as I was driving my son to day camp, he was being silly and loud. This is not abnormal for him and usually my husband is involved in the silliness as well. Typically, I just drive and focus on the road and let them do their thing. I don’t get involved in the silliness normally, but every now and then, I will make a comment or say “you boys are silly”. Today; however, I chimed in. Benjamin asked what noise a Dodo bird makes and I made this really loud, obnoxious sound and he cracked up. Howard looked at me like I was crazy and laughed as well. He mentioned that for someone (me) who doesn’t like loud noises, I sure was egging on our son (who had actually continued the loud, obnoxious sound over and over by this point). I don’t know what came over me, but in that moment, I felt happy and silly and wanted to be a part of their fun.

This doesn’t happen nearly often enough.

Yesterday I was looking on Facebook and saw several of my friends out and about this weekend. There were so many smiles and accomplishments on my news feed and I found myself smiling inside because they were having so much fun. For me, though, I was feeling sad and exhausted and bored and run down. I wanted a nap, but I had some work I wanted to do. It wasn’t work that was due or overdue. In fact, I was working ahead of myself and using that excuse to continue sitting in the bed and not engaging with my family.

What is wrong with me?

I have a wonderful little family with a happy little boy and a husband who loves me beyond anything that I can comprehend. I have a two fantastic jobs that are supporting my family and we are more comfortable now than we have been since Howard and I met. I have a beautiful extended family that loves me and supports everything I do.

I just can’t seem to get out of my funk!

So, I’m asking you all today. Where do you find your joy? Where do you find the energy to get out of bed and take your kids to the zoo or the park or just simply play with them at home? Where do you find your laughter on an everyday basis? Where do you find your happiness, in general, and how do you share it with the world?


  1. I’m usually a really upbeat and energetic person, but I do go through moments when I just feel so ‘blah’. I don’t know how I get out of the funk, but I suspect it is from me allowing the warmth, positive energy and happiness around me to pull me out.

  2. I used to not be able to find joy in everything. I was a pretty happy person until I developed a long term illness. The depression was largely a side effect of the illness and its medication, but not entirely. Getting cancer changed everything for me. I didn’t want to die as a miserable person who no one remembered laughing. The cancer is gone, but it humbled me. I laugh every single day now.

  3. CourtneyLynne says:

    Ahhhh I’m one of those people who gets depressed with the seasons. Me and winter don’t mix really well. I try and take D3 and it works sometimes but Ughhh…. Crazy how seasons can mess with a person

  4. Debra says:

    I find joy in photography. Just stopping and taking a few minutes just for me to photograph!

  5. I wish I had the answer for you!! I hope you find a reason to be silly every day!!

  6. lexie says:

    I’m sorry your experiencing this my dear :(. Although I’m currently pregnant and that tends to throw me in an emotional rut here there I have always noticed that sometimes for a few days at a time, I just be in a “funk” too and the only way that I can get out of it is really just going to bed and sleeping it off lol I wish there was a more instant way for me to get out of it but I’ve noticed it has to just run it’s course.

    • lexie says:

      OK so many typo errors here don’t judge me! lol

  7. I completely identify with your struggle to find joy. I am a naturally happy person but depression can make me feel irritated, upset and highly emotional and it is difficult to summon up the energy to do the things you love. Hang in there I know you are a grateful to your children and your children are grateful to you for being a great mum.

  8. Trying upping your vitamins! Sometimes when I take extra vitamin c that really helps me.

  9. Shelly says:

    Hi, Janet!

    First, can I give you a virtual (((hug)))?

    I have struggled with long bouts of depression throughout adulthood as well; and it is especially hard when you’re a parent, cause it’s like “I have everything to be thankful for!” What’s hard is explaining to people, as well as yourself, that gratitude and depression are separate entities. Just because one is depressed, it doesn’t mean they’re unsatisfied with their families or circumstances.

    Something that helps, even if just for temporary relief, is to realize what brings you joy and DO MORE OF IT. It sounds simple, right? But I *know* it’s not. I know for me, I had to learn how to stop withholding joy from myself. For instance, I love to do artwork (didn’t say I was good at it! haha), but I’d often talk myself out of it. I’d say in my head “You don’t have time. There’s laundry that needs folding. Your artwork sucks. You’ll have to clean up your mess, and who has time for that?” I enjoy cheeses, cured meats and wines, but when I’d eye them at the grocery store I’d say to myself “That’s kind of expensive. You’ll be eating it by yourself. You’ll waste most of the bottle. Seriously, do you think you’re from Europe?” You get the picture. I had to STOP doing that myself! I don’t know if you do it as well, but maybe being conscious of that voice and telling it pipe the hell down will help? Can you make a list of things that bring you joy and make sure to do at least one of them a day? No one has to see the list, so don’t censor or criticize whatever they are.

    Still, I know it’s easier said than done.

  10. We all go through times when we sad or depressed about something. What I do is take a break, it usually works and I come back fresh and feeling happy.

  11. Jen K says:

    I think we all go through times when we are in a funk. I think especially as moms because we are always giving so much of ourselves. Give yourself time to work through it and then move on. Hope you feel better soon!

  12. Mar says:

    Sometimes depression goes in waves. I find my joy by getting outside and going for a walk or a hike.

  13. It sounds to me like you need a little break! Maybe go away for a weekend to rejuvenize, rest, relax and reevaluate what it is that makes you happy. Stepping away can do a lot for your overall outlook on life.

  14. It’s all about the little things. I live with Depression, and sometimes I just can’t handle life. Then other times, something cute or funny happens and it pulls me out of my norm for a bit.

  15. I really just love everything I get to do. I know that sounds so silly. I wish I could give you something. 🙁 Whatever used to make you feel good, just make time to do it. I am ALWAYS with my daughter. So when it’s been weeks or a month or 2 since I’ve gotten to go out and do something, I just do it. I see a movie or get my nails done or shop!

  16. Michelle says:

    It’s so important to take time for yourself! Even just a few minutes a day

  17. Di says:

    I hate that feeling but I think we all get it. I’m in vacation withdrawal right now so I hear ya!
    For me I generally just find a morning/afternoon/evening and spend some “ME TIME”. Be it a Massage, sauna/steam room at the gym, or just a chick flick with popcorn, SOmetimes we just need to escape for a little while and recharge.

  18. Jenn says:

    My husband can usually be counted on to do something to make me smile, even when I’m sad or have a case of the grumps. Often it involves one of the many stuffed monkeys we’ve accumulated over the years like making them dance or peeking over the edge of the nearest piece of furniture. Or just cuddling. On the other hand, needing down time or alone time isn’t always a bad thing, esp. for those of us who can run down from constant interaction and get snappish without a recharge. I remember when we were all much younger and how quickly my younger brothers’ energy would wear me out to the breaking point. So take the time you need, and be the best you can when you’re together. Big hugs, lady!

  19. My animals always make me smile when I am down – they seem to know when I need cheering up and pop up out and have me in stitches, even if its short lived – its worth every moment.

  20. Amanda Bernard says:

    When I’m down in a funk, I find it helps to do stuff with the kids that *I* enjoy doing and that I have the energy for. Like, playing a board game or watching a TV show together. We’re still spending time together, but on a level that I can handle. Or, if my husband is available, we’ll all go out and do something because, for me, that makes me feel better (but only if husband is around because if my depression is acting up so is my social anxiety). And yes it’s still hard and I still feel awful and exhausted but at least it’s manageable and I force myself through the day and then usually go to bed early. Other days when I am depressed, I don’t do anything. I take a long nap if/when I’m able to because it is about the only thing that usually works to really make me feel better and if the kids ask me to do something, I tell them truthfully that I’m not feeling well. And then I make sure when I am feeling well that I do something with them.

    • janet says:

      This is exactly what I needed. I’m glad I’m not alone in this. Sometimes it’s all the energy that I have to focus on a TV show with my family! Depression can be such a pain!

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