Having the Hard Conversations with Our Parents

This post about having the hard conversations with our parents is sponsored by Global Influence and its advertiser. All stories and opinions are my own.

Cowboys football selfie

Growing up, I was always a “daddy’s girl” and I stuck by my dad all the time. I was fairly close to my mom, but I always thought my dad was the “bee’s knees”. I had a shirt when I was little that said “When I grow up, I want to be a mechanic” because that’s what my dad did for a living. I learned as much as I could from my dad and I just couldn’t get enough of being by his side.

When I was 18, my mom left my dad and told me that since I was still in high school that she was going to have custody of me until I graduated. She was moving to a new house and wanted me to come along with her and my little sister, but I promptly told her that I was 18 and I was going to decide for myself. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, but I wasn’t going to leave my dad’s side. He and I stuck through some hard times together during the next six months as I graduated high school and prepared to go to college. We would stay up late at night and “solve the problems of the world” with our epic talks.

Throughout college, I drifted away from my dad a little and our talks got fewer and far between. He remarried and I got married and had a child. So much family between us just left less and less time for us to really have those epic talks…until recently.

You might remember just a couple of weeks ago, my dad and I went to a Dallas Cowboys football game together. We had the best time at the tailgate party and at the game. We cheered until we were hoarse and we were exhausted for days following. In fact, we both ended up with colds, his lasting a little longer than mine, but we wouldn’t have missed this opportunity for the world.

But, the best part, in my opinion, was the ride up there and the ride back. You see, we live about 2.5 hours from the Dallas Cowboys stadium so we had to get up and out early to make it to all the fun activities. During those drives, we talked…the.entire.time!

Of course, our talks ranged from small talk to blog talk to work talk and unfortunately, to the hard conversations that we all need to have with our parents eventually. We had the Care Conversation and since I am me, there were tears.

The Care Conversation started because my grandmother, my dad’s dad, is getting older (she’s in her 90’s) and two of my aunts are providing the primary care for her right now. My dad told me that he doesn’t want to be a “burden” on any of his girls and he wants to be “in a home” when he gets older. Of course, none of us girls ever want to see him in an assisted living home and any one of us would probably have him live with us or move in with him to avoid that, but we know we have to honor his wishes. When/if the time comes that he needs assistance with daily living, we will find a place that he feels comfortable in and a place that treats him right. We will visit with him every day (or at least as often as we can) and we will make sure that he is happy.

Care Conversations Logo

As we get older, our parents unfortunately get older as well and these Care Conversations need to happen. Finding a place for your parents or grandparents to live doesn’t have to be hard when you have the information that you need. Find out more at http://careconversations.org.

Join us on 11/12 at 8pm ET on Twitter to talk more about Care Conversations during this #CareConvo Twitter party. RSVP here.

Comments

  1. Those are definitely not the kind of conversations that are very pleasant but they must be had. (sigh) I’m glad you both had a blast together at the game! My dad and I used to go to baseball games together. I was never a daddy’s girl but I came very close after going to those games with him. Those times are the best, aren’t they?
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  2. Kelsey says:

    Not an easy conversation to have ever. But being a nurse, I have to put my two cents in that we never know what is around the bend. Stroke and heart disease can come at any age, leaving our loved ones debilitated and us (the children) unaware of what they want. Or a terrible car accident. Or a random act of violence.
    Don’t put off the conversation until they are aging. Have it. Have it soon. Be ready for the unknown. And make plans for yourself too. Don’t leave the hard decisions for your loved ones to make in an already extremely difficult time.

  3. I am so nervous to have these conversations with my mom. For me, it means I will have to acknowledge the fact that my mom and dad are getting older and that scares me a lot. I remember when my grandparents got older and how hard it was on my parents to have these talks with them or just to see them age like this.
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  4. These are definitely conversations I’m going to have to have with my parents soon.

  5. Debra says:

    THis is not a an easy conversation to have for sure!
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  6. I love that you have these awesome talks with your dad. It makes it a heck of a lot easier to have these other kinds of conversations.
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  7. I am a daddy’s girl, too. Those conversations are very hard to have. Unfortunately, he already lost both of his parents. =(

  8. Alison says:

    This is not a talk I want to have with my parents, but I know the day will come when it will be necessary.
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  9. Definitely hard to have convos like this!

  10. Luckily I don’t have to have that talk yet with my parents. That is a great resource to start the talk when I do have to.
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  11. I have to have this talk with my parents. I keep putting it to the back of my mind but it has to happen soon. Im hoping that I can make the twitter party!

  12. These are definitely not easy conversations for anyone but sometimes you just have to do it.
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  13. I may need to have this talk with my mother in law soon. Thanks for the reminder.
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  14. Robin (Massrhole Mommy) says:

    Those are definitely not easy conversations to have, but they are a necessary evil I suppose!

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