This post about what my mom didn’t teach about pregnancy is sponsored by Socialstars and Poise Microliners. It might get a little funny, a little mushy, a little serious, but it’s all my story. #SAMinyourpants.
When I was in my 20′s I decided that if I didn’t have a baby by the time I was 30 then I was going to look into artificial insemination. I wanted to be a mom and I wanted several children. I felt like 30 was long enough to wait. On the day that I turned 30, I decided I could probably wait until 35 because I was just starting to have fun. I had a wild weekend in San Antonio with friends that weekend. I was in Graduate school. I had a good job. But, I had no prospects for a husband or even a boyfriend. By the time I was 31, I was married with a child and had quit Graduate school. My mom had passed away and while I’m blessed with an unbelievable stepmom, something was missing.
Let me back up a little.
The first time I got my period, my mom came to me and said to me, “You know you can get pregnant now, right?”. Well, yeah, mom, but tell me more! My mom was a wonderful mom when I was growing up. She had rough edges, but she loved us and wanted us to be happy. She knew her three girls so well and she wanted what was best for us. She felt that the best for us was not getting pregnant early, but she didn’t know how to say that. When I lost my virginity a month before my 18th birthday, she knew, but she didn’t ask me. She asked my sister to talk to me about it. She didn’t want to embarrass me.
By the time I was in my late 20′s, my mom and I weren’t exactly on speaking terms. It’s a long story for another time, but it wasn’t an easy decision for me to make. I met my husband in May 2007 and we were pregnant and engaged by July 2007. My mom knew I was pregnant and I’ve heard she was happy for me. She planned to be at our wedding in October, but she passed away from complications of alcoholism in August. The last thing my mom said to me, indirectly through my sister over the phone as she was so ill and waiting for an ambulance, was “boy or girl?”. I didn’t know yet and I never got the chance to give her an answer.
Why am I telling you all of this?
What Mom Didn’t Teach Me About Pregnancy
My mom didn’t get the chance to teach me about pregnancy before she passed away. We never talked about it when I was younger because it was the furthest thing from my mind. We didn’t speak when I found out and then suddenly she was gone. Here are a few things that I wish my mom could have taught me and things that I’ve learned along the way.
1. Finding out you are pregnant is the scariest, most exciting, most rewarding news you will ever hear
Although Howard and I were just starting to get to know one another when we found out we were pregnant, we were thrilled beyond belief. We hugged and smiled and cried and then got terrified and talked about our “options” and gave ourselves time to think about it. Both of us sighed with relief when we both said we wanted to keep the baby and stay together and ultimately get married and make a family. Whether you are planning a pregnancy or not, getting that news is exhilarating!
2. Feeling a life inside you is the most warming, amazing, and weirdest feeling ever
When I first became pregnant, I told a friend of mine that I wasn’t sure how my big ‘ole body was going to protect this tiny little dot when even the sonogram tech couldn’t tell me which dot on the screen was my baby. I can remember talking to my stepmom about little bubbles or butterflies fluttering around in my crotch area and wondering if that was the baby moving. She assured me that was just the beginning. I absolutely loved the feeling of my baby rolling around and kicking inside me. I felt complete and that is the only time in the past 7 years that I have truly felt that my baby was completely safe. Sometimes at night I still rub the side of my belly and can remember the movements. I miss them.
3. Having control of your body is a thing of the past
Once a little alien baby grows inside your body, there are things that happen that can’t be changed back. For some, your hips may always be a little wider or you may develop stretch marks that never fully go away. You may grow a belly that wasn’t there before and no amount of sit-ups will ever make it go away. You may have bigger boobs or weird “mommy nipples” from breastfeeding. For me, I lost some of the control of my bladder. Yes, folks, I’m talking about light bladder leakage (LBL).
I remember one night sitting in bed and talking to Howard. We started laughing and I laughed so hard I coughed…and that’s the first time it happened. I was not completely shocked, but I was shocked and Howard, well, he was just slightly grossed out…and amused. Even now that Benjamin is 6 years old, I still have trouble from time to time and for that I use Poise microliners to protect myself from more embarrassing situations.
Curious? You should try them first by requesting a free sample at poise.com.
4. Having a baby means your heart will live on the outside of your body
From the moment we met Benjamin, we were both so in love with him, even more than we could possibly have imagined. In the past 6 years, I have watched that boy grow into the little man that he is today and I just can’t figure out what I did to deserve this beautiful little being in my life.
5. All the negatives about giving birth go away and you will want to do it all over again
I mentioned earlier this week that Howard and I knew right away that we didn’t want another baby anytime soon after Benjamin came into the world. I got an IUD that would last 5 years, but when it fell out after 2 years, we were ready for another baby to come along. After 4 years of trying, we are taking the next steps to check out our bodies medically for TTC because we just can’t wait to have another pregnancy, another baby, and grow our family even more. All the “bad stuff” about pregnancy is just a distant memory for me, and now that I have my LBL managed, I’m ready for baby #2.
What did your mom teach you about pregnancy?
I am linked up to Pour Your Heart Out at Things I Can’t Say.