The past few weeks have been rough. It all started with the cake at Benjamin’s birthday party and just went downhill from there. Many times during this time period I have felt like giving up on weight loss and just accepting that I’m going to be morbidly obese for the rest of my life.
But yesterday changed my mind.
As I mentioned last week, I gained 2.4 lbs the week before after having eaten cake and then all the other junk food that I crave on a regular basis. I felt motivated by getting it all out and I was ready to conquer this weight after writing that post. Then my period hit and chocolate cravings returned and I just felt once again like giving up on weight loss for good. It’s such a daily struggle with having so much weight to lose and my hypoglycemia that makes my blood sugar drop and makes me crave sweets. But, I’m not throwing in the towel just yet.
I lost 1.2 lbs this week!
I’m back over 40 lbs lost! (Howard lost 1.2 lbs also!) This is the news that I really needed after trying so hard this week and occasionally failing, but then getting back up the next day and going at it again. I must have done something right or maybe the weight loss fairy decided to just give me a break this week. For whatever reason, I lost, and I’ll take it and run with it!
This morning I made a declaration (to myself and my husband, at least, and now to you all reading this) that I am going to eat RIGHT for the next 20 days straight. Why 20 days? Well, for one, I have to set small goals for myself. There’s no weight number that I’m trying to achieve this time (although getting to 50 lbs lost would be nice – 10 more lbs to go!) and I’m just setting a day number. And because my birthday is March 19 and I want to treat myself to Red Lobster for my birthday. I can eat “right” at Red Lobster, but I know I will want at least one biscuit and if I’m “good” for 20 days straight then I’ll deserve it.
I know, I know, I should not “reward” myself with food, but this is how I’m reconciling it in my head so please just go with me on this one, this one time, pretty please?!
So…with all of that said, here are 5 reasons why I’m not giving up on weight loss this time.
1. I’m going to conquer this demon of weight loss.
I will accept that I may not win every battle every day, but I will win this war, and I’ll be darn proud of every pound I lose.
2. My boy deserves a healthy mom.
I wouldn’t accept it if someone else were being unhealthy toward my son, so why would I accept him having an unhealthy mom?
3. I deserve to be healthy.
I love myself and I love who I am (most of the time) and I want to love myself even more as I become healthier.
4. My friends are cheering me on.
You all come here every week to see how I’ve done and cheer me on (or pick me up when I fall) and you deserve to see some success. You all don’t deserve to read my whining and my failures week after week. This series is going to be a positive one with a positive outcome.
5. I don’t want surgery.
Howard and I have been tossing around the idea of surgery for weight loss and we’re not ruling it out. Last year when we were talking about it, I would have been the first to go through it, but this year I feel more motivated to get healthy the natural way. Howard has serious health issues and probably needs the surgery so that we don’t lose him while he’s struggling to get the weight off. I don’t know if he’s going to go through with it, but whatever we decide (or he decides) I’m going to be right by his side. I’m not ready for the surgery right now, but I think he would benefit from it right now.