I’m Lost Without My Child

It’s 2pm on Wednesday. Do you know where your children are?

I know where my child is and it’s driving me a little crazy.

making my boy smile at Kindergarten by eating lunch with him at the cookout

Today is Wednesday, November 27, 2013. I worked until 12noon today and now I’m off work. I went to lunch with my husband. We picked up some medicine for his “little problem” (that’s a whole other post). We came home to watch TV and spend time together (no hanky panky…it’s that time of the month). We are just sitting here, talking a little, and then I get online while he plays Candy Crush.

Our child is at daycare.

For lunch today, we went to a chinese buffet that Benjamin loves. We go there so often (there are foods there we can eat on our eating plan) that the waitress asked where Benjamin was today! We talked through lunch and then heading home I realized, I’m lost without my child.

How did we get here?

For the past 5+ years, Benjamin has been our life. We are still somewhat selfish people and like our time alone or time together, but he is the reason we do almost everything we do. We talk about what we are going to do to entertain him every night. We spend our evenings together, doing what he loves. I’ve even sacrificed cleaning my home just to take him somewhere or do something that he wants to do.

But, what about my marriage?

Don’t get me wrong, Howard and I spend evenings together sometimes after the boy falls asleep – sometimes. We have date nights in occasionally. But it is not often enough. I mentioned to Howard today at lunch that I felt weird going to Benjamin’s favorite restaurant without him and he said that the boy would be getting a lot of attention from family in the next few days. In fact, I can almost bet that he will be spending the night at Granny and Papa’s house with his cousins tonight.

So, why am I still feeling freaked out?

I have heard of couples who spent all their time raising children and then ended up with an empty nest and nothing to talk about. I don’t want that to happen to us.

What am I going to do about it?

I’m going to keep writing about the reasons I love my husband. I’m going to keep trying to plan date nights. I’m going to talk to my husband about things that don’t involve my son. I will not be a part of one of those couples.

What do you do when your children are away?

Comments

  1. I’ve been lost without my daughter for nine years and ten days. I know it hurts.

    In memory of Olivia.
    1992-2004

  2. Oooh, please don’t worry about being “one of those couples”! Enjoy every single second with your son that you can. You honestly never know when it might be your last one on this earth with him. I lost my son 4 years ago this month. It was sudden and unexpected and I miss him every single moment of every day! Fill your time and life with love and never ever worry about who you might become because of it. I thank God every day for the love and time my son and I enjoyed together. He made me a better Mom and a much better human being! I am also thankful for the time that we spent with his Dad and his brothers as a family. It was such a wonderful blessing having Matthew in my life and I look forward to the day when all of my boys and I will be together again!

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