Parenting an Active Child at 369.8 lbs. #SuperCoolMom

Parenting an active child at 369.8 lbs. is tough for many reasons, but I am changing these reasons with each new day.

How to be a super cool mom to a super cool boy

This weekend was the beginning of my boy’s soccer season, his first, and he was thrilled. He has been to two practices and while things started out rocky, he is getting the hang of it quickly.

Howard and I are large people. We are not active. When I posted last week that I am 369.8 lbs (and losing), I think it’s pretty obvious that we live a sedentary life. I work in an office so I sit at a computer all day. At night, I do my blog work so again, I’m sitting at a computer. We try to keep our boy active, but there are times that we beg him to watch a movie or tell him that he needs to relax to prepare for something coming up.

Again, I’m not proud. I’m just being honest.

Despite our desire to be sedentary, we have a stronger desire to keep our boy active and involved in sports. He has played t-ball two seasons and basketball one season. We missed the sign-ups for him to play soccer last year, but we got in this year.

Howard is not a huge fan of soccer so this sport is new to us all. I have a niece who has played from 4 years old and is 16 now. She wants to go professional and is headed in the right direction. That is the extent of our knowledge of soccer.

So when the coach asked Benjamin to kick the ball while running backwards, he stopped and was almost in tears.

Put all excuses aside and remember: You are capable - Zig Ziglar

You see, Benjamin likes to do things right. He isn’t particularly great at sports. He runs slow and he smiles so much from having fun that he can’t concentrate on the game. But he likes to be perfect at what he does. And if he doesn’t know how, he doesn’t want to try.

I can relate to this with my weight loss.

Howard and I have tried diets and “eating right”, but we always would cheat or fall off the wagon. Once we headed downhill, we felt as though we failed and let others down so we would just let go. Just like Benjamin with tears in his eyes would give up, we were giving up on ourselves.

Parenting an Active Child at 369.8 lbs

Now that I am 369.8 lbs., I physically cannot help my boy learn sports. If I were to run with him or try to teach him to kick, I would be out of breath and sweating profusely. As it is now, just walking from the car to the soccer field gets me out of breath. Benjamin gets out of the car and runs to the field and is there long before Howard and me. It’s not fair to him and we are making the changes now.

We will conquer this weight, once and for all!

Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest

Sometime during the second practice, Benjamin got his confidence and was playing just as hard as all the rest of the team. He didn’t care that he doesn’t run as fast as them. He didn’t care that he was the newest one on the team. He just knew that he loves playing, he is good at kicking and getting better at defending, and he was having fun.

As I mentioned, this past Saturday was our first real game and Benjamin played his heart out. He had instant fans in some of the other parents and family members. And he had so much fun!

Howard and I were on Day Two of our new eating plan and we were having a rough time.

You see, being 369.8 lbs. there is not a fold-up chair that I can carry out to the field so I can sit with the other parents. I had to stand. Even during practices, Howard and I try to catch a bench, but we have to sit on either ends because we are afraid to sit in the middle and break it. We are ordering larger chairs so we don’t have to stand during every game, but for now, it is difficult. We were both drenched in sweat, aching from head to toe (literally), and counting the minutes rather than enjoying the game like everyone else.

I am so glad that things are changing.

As I’m writing this on Day Three (in the evening), I am already feeling better and I know that by next weekend we will both feel better at the game. I know we are making the right changes and I have some regrets for not making them sooner. I know we can’t give up because this beginning part is always the hardest, but it gets easier with each day.

Are you parenting an active child and struggling with your own vice? Let’s talk about it in the comments.


  1. There’s much to love in this story. As a soccer coach, I can tell you this is an awesome sport for a child to learn and thrive while playing. As a soccer parent, too, I can tell you that the growth he makes while he plays is going to have a profound effect on you … you’ll never be the same!

    Also, you will provide inspiration to your son when he sees your dedication, too.

    • janet says:

      Thank you so much for the encouragement. He tells us how much he is proud of us every day and we do the same for him!

  2. Wendy Pence says:

    I was always very thin (but curvy in all the right places, lol) until I had my second child. Somehow, I COMPLETELY put myself on the back burner and now I weigh close to 200 pounds. It’s disheartening when I dwell on it. Because I want to be active, but get winded easily and sweat a lot. And I hate to do repetitive boring exercises. Go figure. But, I am making healthier choices and doing my best to stick with them. My best advice, just take it one day at a time. When you mess the diet or exercise up a little, give yourself a stern talking to (think how you’d scold your child for writing on a wall or something similar) and then forgive yourself and vow that tomorrow is a new day and you will do better. Also, don’t completely deprive yourself of everything that isn’t the healthiest thing for you. If there is one thing you love (for me it’s Butterfingers), don’t just say you can never have it again until you lose all the weight. I don’t keep things that tempt me in the house, but once a week I will let myself have one treat. I love Butterfinger, so I might buy one small candy bar or the little single-serve Butterfinger Bites. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Or, another vice is iced coffee, so I might snag what’s left in the coffee pot after my husband finishes with it and throw about 1/2 cup milk and a teaspoon of sugar in it and pour it over ice. If you know good behavior will earn you a little treat at the end of the week, it makes it easier (for me, anyway) to stick with it. Good luck! You can do it!!! :0)

    • janet says:

      My downfall is sweets, but particularly peanut M&M’s. Thank you so much for the encouragement and I hope you continue to stay active as well. We are hoping to inspire our boy to never give up and to be healthy and active!

  3. barb says:

    beautiful post Janet…and though I can’t relate with you 100%, I can relate.

    I live a sedentary life too – but do try and walk the 2 miles (back and forth) to pick up my girls from school. I have a severe case of cronic edema on my right leg (from foot to pelvic bone) but I do make myself do this is so that I can get some sort of exercise during the day (this just started when school began) otherwise I’d have none.

    I haven’t lost any weight yet, but it’s only been 2 + weeks.

    I have confidence in you and your end results Janet. Please keep us updated.


    • barb says:

      PS – Love the pictures Janet (and the fonts you used).

      • janet says:

        Awww…thanks! I’m new to this editing and this really means a lot!

    • janet says:

      You are such an encouragement to me, Barb, and I’m so happy I can call you my friend. You are a beautiful person. You can bet I’ll keep y’all updated because that is my accountability!

  4. It isn’t until you sit and think about all the things you can’t do whilst you’re overweight that you realise how much it is affecting your life.
    I have put a list on the fridge of the pro’s and con’s of losing weight. The pro’s far outweigh (excuse the pun) the con’s. For example, like you say, sitting in chairs in which you are comfortable. Not having to have a seat belt extender on flights ( I don’t know but I used to) ; being able to run and do active sports. Pretty much similar to what yours are. This spurs me on everytime I go to the fridge door to see why I am changing my lifestyle. The most obvious one being health. I want to live a lot more years yet, but if I put pressure on my heart with the weight, that isn’t going to happen.
    I feel for you Janet as I go through the same thought processes you do, but do you know what? We CAN do it. There is no such word as CAN’T. We will do it. There is no such word as WON’T……..
    My weigh in day is tomorrow, so I’ll let you know how it goes. Keep persevering and I’m sure you’ll both be fab. Do it not just for yourselves but for Benjamin too.

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