369.8 – Weight Loss and Fatty Friday

That’s it, folks. 369.8 is my weight (in lbs.).

I’m not proud. I’m not ashamed.

I’m sad about it. I have nobody to blame but myself.

But I’m changing that, effective today!

Fatty Friday weight loss series

I’ve told my story of the struggle with weight loss on the blog before when I used to blog on Fatty Friday, but I’ll tell it again and again just to reach as many people as possible.

I’ve struggled with weight basically all of my life. I was a slender child until preteen years. I was never “skinny” but I wasn’t overweight at 5 years old. I don’t know when I started to get chubby, but by the time I was in Junior High, I was bigger than most of my friends. I gained until my mom put my sister and me on a diet. She would control our portions and count our calories. She gave us options and we did fairly well. I don’t know why we stopped, but at some point we were not eating healthy any longer and I got bigger again.

In my Senior year of High School, I was working two jobs and going to school. I never ate and I became the smallest I had ever been. I still never saw myself as “skinny” but I knew I had lost weight. I remember the day that I figured out that I could cross my legs under the school desk and I was thrilled!

I still thought of myself as big and didn’t value myself at all. I took risks with my body that I might not ever talk about on this blog…maybe… I heard someone say recently that if I could be as “big” as I was back then when I thought I was “big”, I would be happy with my weight.

It’s probably not true because I would still see myself different, but it is a funny thought.

In college, I started gaining and never really stopped.

At one point I went to Weight Watchers and I was probably approaching 275 lbs. I lost 60 lbs. and found a boyfriend, only to gain it all back while dating him. Then he left, not because I gained, but because we weren’t right for each other.

Eventually, I met my husband and we like to eat…a lot.

I like to go out to eat and I like to have dessert after every meal. He just likes to eat. We ate and ate and had a baby and continued to eat.

In May 2010, we broke down and our pastor sent us to Healthy Figures to turn our lives around. We were new Christians. We had a Life Group. We were attending church regularly. Life was VERY good!

By November 2010, I had lost 90 lbs. and Howard had lost 160 lbs. We were rockin’ this new lifestyle.

Howard hit a plateau and I hit a depression. We were told to take 3 cheat days and then restart our metabolism and get back on the wagon. We did that…every week.

We would go to Healthy Figures on Thursday and then go around the corner to the mexican buffet. We would gorge on mexican food and be miserable. On Friday, we would eat our old normal and not get back on track. Since we ate on Thursday and Friday, we decided Saturday was a good cheat day and then Sunday was lunch at church (there weren’t always good options there, but that’s not a good excuse) and then dinner at my dad’s house. My dad would cook healthy options for us, but we wanted the junk so we ate it. On Monday, we were back on track.

I would like to say this worked for a short time, but it really didn’t. We would lose one week, but gain the next. We would stay the same and say we had no idea why it wasn’t working. We were lying to Healthy Figures and especially to ourselves. We were sabotaging ourselves and our bodies.

After the holidays, we tried to restart the program a few times, but we never put our hearts back into it. We had car problems (no A/C for an hour drive was our only “valid” excuse) and then we had money problems and then we just flat out had motivation problems.

"Before" pic

{before pic – taken 9/2012}

The last time I was in Healthy Figures was March 2012. I was 288.2 lbs.

I gained 81 lbs. in the 1 1/2 years.

Here’s where we turn it around. We went back to Healthy Figures last night. We sucked it up, took our lumps, and we are back on track. We are investing our time and money into our health and we are going to feel better!

In the next few days/weeks I am going to try my best to talk about what it feels like to be 369.8 lbs. before I forget. I don’t want to forget the pain, the uncomfortable feelings, the misery that I am feeling at this moment. I want to remember every single ache, pain, embarassing moment, and emotional breakdown so I don’t let myself get back to this.

I want to feel better, be a better Mommy to Benjamin, be a better wife to Howard, and most importantly…be a better child to God because He is the only one who can get me through this. He knows where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going. I trust Him to get me through this and I trust those of you who are reading this not to judge, but to lift me up and cheer me on!

Are you struggling with weight or something else that is weighing you down? Let’s talk about it in the comments. Let’s support one another!

Comments

  1. Good for you! It takes a lot of courage to share with so much detail. After a year of feeling awful and slow, unexplained weight-gain, and a summer of doctor’s appointments which revealed no health concerns or causes for my pain, my doctor started my on a low dose of Cymbalta and I’ve been working my way through Lyn-Genet Recitas’ The Plan. I’m half way to goal and while I don’t feel “great,” I definitely feel MUCH BETTER!
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..When You Run Out of Things to SayMy Profile

  2. You can do it Janet! I lost 50 pounds about 10 years back and it was great to start living a healthy lifestyle! Nothing but the best for you both!

  3. Hi Janet,
    I am so proud of you for posting this. I am proud of the fact you mentioned your weight. I don’t tell anyone about mine. Not even my Husband Dave.
    I am lucky in the fact that my Dr says my blood pressure and cholesterol are normal. What worries me is what is going on inside my body I can’t see; I’m worried about dying young; I’m worried about the damage I am causing to my joints.
    Dave and I took the bull by the horns (as we Brits say) and joined a weight loss programme called Slimming World. It’s not a diet, it’s a healthy eating plan. It teaches you what you should eat to speed up your weight loss, like berries & certain vegetables. It shows you that you can have your Homemade McDonalds, KFC’s, Mexicans if you make them in the right way with the right ingredients.
    Last week was our first week. I can honestly say I really enjoyed the food we made, I ate more than I normally would but I ate the “right” type of food, and not fried greasy food. I found it easy to get my head around it. I lost 7lbs in my first week and Dave lost 6.5lbs. We both still have a long way to go, but we are going in the same direction together which makes it easier. We have eaten out on two occasions but managed to choose the right things from the menu which fit in with our eating plan.
    I will support you all the way, and I am happy to share any recipes. Good luck to you on your journey. As they say some people will take the highway route to their weight loss and some will take the side roads and zig zag to their final route. I’m sure that will be me, but this time I am determined to do it.
    Lets do it together!
    Love ya x
    Lisa Hardy recently posted..Random Things Through My Letterbox: The Deaths by Mark Lawson *Pan MacMillan Reading G…My Profile

    • Lisa, thank you. Posting my number is part of my plan to be transparent and honest. I need accountability and that is about as accountable as I can be. I need eyes watching me and support so I truly appreciate when people know the true struggle I am having. I’m so proud of you and Dave for getting back on track as well! Healthy Figures is a lifestyle change as well. We are going to be learning to eat the right things and especially the right portions! I wish you the best of luck and we’ll keep checking in with each other! {{hugs}}

  4. You CAN succeed in weight loss. But it’s all about wanting it. Wanting it bad enough to make the healthy changes in your lives. I’m so happy that you’re doing this with Howard so the whole family is on board. While it may feel like an uphill battle you will see results if you stick with it. It takes one step at a time. Definitely take before photos now. Even if you don’t want to share them just yet. You will ;) And if you ever need someone to chat with I’m here!
    Danielle recently posted..Aruba: The Perfect Couples DestinationMy Profile

    • Thank you, Danielle. I need to get Howard to take some Before pics tonight because we forgot to do it yesterday. I appreciate the support and encouragement!

  5. Stacie Gay says:

    So very proud of you! Trust me when I say…I GET IT!!!! I WAS overweight at 5 and battled it year after year. Lose 65, gain 70, lose 55, gain 60, lose 80, gain 100. On paper, all of my other numbers were “good”…blood pressure, blood sugars, cholesterol…but I couldn’t carry myself and didn’t like myself. I had surgical intervention…but still have daily battles with food. I love to eat! And eating was never about hunger for me…for a long time, I didn’t even know what it felt like to be hungry because I never let myself get there. Although I am at a much healthier weight and size now, I could stand to lose some more. And I still see that fat girl in the mirror. But you are right…we are a child of God and He promises us a hope and a future…to never leave or forsake us. We must rely on Him…
    I love you my little sister…and am here to take this journey with you. It’s not easy…and now that you have claimed God’s promise, will probably get harder because thats when Satan likes to attack…and he knows our easy target…but we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength!

    • Thank you, Stacie! I am so proud of YOU and the changes you have made. You are always beautiful and I’m just happy that you feel better now as well. I pray that someday you see that beauty when you look in the mirror!

Trackbacks

  1. […] 369.8: Weight Loss and Fatty Friday – 12 comments […]

  2. […] started this week on Friday (9/6) with three days of protein only. I eat about 500-700 calories and Howard eats about […]

  3. […] and I are large people. We are not active. When I posted last week that I am 369.8 lbs (and losing), I think it’s pretty obvious that we live a sedentary life. I work in an office so I sit at a […]

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