My Depression Story: When that one good friend comes along

My Depression Story: How I made the smiles, laughter, and music return

Last week when I talked about how difficult it was for me to make friends, I’m not sure if I really related that back to my depression. You see, for me, making friends was hard because I was shy, quiet, introverted, but also I can look back and see how depression played a roll in all of this as well. I would withdraw and stay home and eating was my friend. I would come home from school and have a sandwich and chips before having my actual dinner. The bigger I became, the more depressed I was and the cycle continued. When I reached high school, I learned that you really only need that one good friend.

a true friend is one soul in two bodies

Ms. L is the best friend I have ever had in my entire life. I know that if I called her right now (even though we haven’t seen each other, much less talked, in over a year) that she would be here in a flash. The tears in my eyes right now tell me that Ms. L is just like a sister to me and I cannot even imagine the pain I have inflicted on her through the years.

I met Ms. L in 9th grade typing class about halfway through the school year when she was transferred in after a schedule change. I had known “of” her for a few years because she was a star at our roller rink. She could skate like a professional and her parents would bring her while our parents would just drop us off and pick us up later. I don’t remember if she was shy (although I can’t imagine HER shy at all) but for some reason we just never connected until that day. She could probably even tell you the day!

She sat next to me and started talking to me and it seems to me that we were inseparable after that. We each had other friends and we may have tried to intermingle them, but it was just like we both wanted one good friend and that one friend was each other. Oh my goodness, I miss her! Okay…must stop crying to finish this post…

{p.s. I had to take a break and come back to this}

Ms. L and I spent a lot of time together during the remaining 3.5 years of high school and we went through a lot. She had confidence issues when it came to making decisions and overpowering parents. I had self-esteem issues and parents who were on their way to divorce (although none of us really knew it until it happened), but Ms. L and I were like two peas in a pod that held two very different peas… We were nothing alike, but we had the same goals and the same sense of humor and we wrote friendship notes to each other throughout the day and passed a spiral notebook back and forth when we would see each other in the hallways. We spent every weekend together either hanging out at home or camping on her parents’ land.

Toward the end of our Senior year, we started to make a few more friends here and there and we drifted just a little, but when my world fell apart, she was there. When I turned 18 and a week later my mom left my dad, Ms. L was the one I cried to for hours. She got it. She listened. She knew nothing about it, but she knew me. She knew I was crashing and she caught me every single time. She still gets me to this day. And I know that if I crash, she is going to catch me before I know what’s coming.

As I mentioned early on, Ms. L and I haven’t talked or seen each other in quite a while, but I did text her this week when my husband lost his job and she was there for me. We didn’t need to talk, but I could feel the hug through her text that simply said “I Love You”. I think it might be time for a girls’ weekend!

Do you have one good friend who just gets you, who is always there, who will catch you before you even know you are falling?

I’m linking up to Pour Your Heart Out.

Comments

  1. Shell says:

    such a blessing to have a friend like this! I’m lucky enough to have a small handful of people that I know are there no matter what and I love them.
    Shell recently posted..Modern Movie Night, On Mars GiveawayMy Profile

    • janet says:

      She is a blessing, Shell, and I’m learning that my online friends are true blessings as well.

  2. melinda g says:

    I do her name is Angie. We only live like 10 miles apart but we never see each other just tons of texts. I can call or text her any time day or night she replies or talks me through what ever is wrong.

    • janet says:

      It is so amazing to have a wonderful friend to count on!

  3. Melissa Carlisle says:

    I have a friend like this, but it’s actually a guy, believe it or not. We’re not super close right now. He’s made some poor life decisions that have caused some strain, but I love him and he loves me and I know nothing can change that. When he hits bottom and needs me, I’ll be there in a heartbeat.

    • janet says:

      You are a great friend, Melissa. I know he appreciates that about you!

  4. Nope … people came and went so much in my life that I learned to only let them “so close” so it wouldn’t hurt when they (inevitably) abandoned me. Wish I could unlearn that. I spend too much time being lonely!

    On the other hand … the night my husband had a stroke … I was having a panic attack and called a dear blog friend. She has 7 kids but when I said I didn’t have anyone I could call to come take care of me … she started making arrangements for child care and called me back to say she would be on the first available flight. Maybe I do have one of those friends after all!

    I hope that I AM that friend for somebody … in spite of my reticence!
    Beth Zimmerman recently posted..Changing Again – and I’m Excited About ItMy Profile

    • janet says:

      You are a good friend, Beth, and as soon as you find your confidence and beauty, you will shine!

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